Saying a final goodbye to my uterus(squeamish? Might wanna skip this one)

So, a few weeks ago, I found out, my ablation, which scars the inside of your uterus (I call it the scorched earth procedure) healed.  I had this procedure about a year ago.  Now, when I say “healed”, I mean there IS no scarring left.  Pictures show a bright healthy happy uterus. 

Remember this?

I got the Scorched Earth procedure about a year ago, because I had cramps badly.  I know, every woman says that, and to every woman, it’s true.  I thought it was a good trade for two days of bleeding.  Then it became three.  Then four.  I was done.  I researched all the methods to getting rid of them.  I was 41, not planning on having children EVER, and wanted my uterus gone.  Then I came across ablation (that scorched earth thing).  I had three months of blissful non bloody non hurty times. THREE  months!  I’d read about the negatives, and I figured “meh, I’m not *that* special!”  Yeah… I was wrong.  Fourth month, the cramps hit HARD.  Like they were waiting, storing up, hiding in the shadows until I got comfortable with the idea of not having my menstrual cycle (herein known at Shark Week). 

Found on internet

As soon as I did.. BLAMMO!  My cramps *laughed* at the naproxen.  They laughed even harder at the midol.  But! I only spotted for a couple days and that was it.

Fast forward to three months ago.  My GYN found a polyp on the inside of my uterus.  “Huh, that’s weird,” I thought, “that shit is supposed to be scarred.”  They surgery’d that polyp out, thinking that was the cause. 

Then my worst shark week ever.  Seriously.  It felt like someone was wringing my uterus out like a wet bar towel, and I was bleeding Niagara for a week.

My regular doctor was the first I’ve seen who would listen to how bad my cramps hurt. He prescribed Vicodin. All the other female doctors I had seen only told me to suck it up

When I went back for my after-surgery checkup, the doctor showed me the picture, I did a double take.  NO SCARRING.  I flipped out.  She said I may have endometriosis, and that I had done everything I could do, and the final step is to take it out.  I agreed.  I’m not using it, I don’t need to be in pain every month for the next ten years.  I only did the ablation because it didn’t require any cutting, they went up through my vagina, through the cervix, and the knocked me out to do it.

So, an urgent surgery was set up.  It’s tomorrow.  Like… really tomorrow.  I have roughly a week off work, more if necessary. 

What they are going to do, in layman’s terms.  (warning:  visualizers may not want to read this)

They are going to do a laparoscopic incision (actually… pretty sure two.) then they are going to cut my uterus from my fallopian tubes and my cervix.  Then they are going to shove it down through my cervix, to my vagina, sew me up, and pull it out through my girly bits.  OR if it’s too big, they will give me a tiny little incision right above my pubic hair line, and pull it out through there.  At least, I think that’s what the doctor said…


Just ate a yogurt (chocolate whipped Yoplait… very nummy) before I can’t eat till after the surgery.

It may be a couple days, but, as you can tell, I’m fairly open about my surgeries.  May describe them crudely, but I’ve never shy’d away from talking about them. 


And so it goes on…..


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